Life Is Too Short For Stupid

                                                       Life Is Too Short For Stupid

My mother used to say, “Life it too short for stupid”.  Growing up I thought this phrase was ridiculous.  I would roll my eyes every time I heard it.  And believe me, I heard it a lot.  Not that my mother thought I was stupid or that my life was stupid.  I think she just felt that it was important for me to realize that not only was life short but it was important to make the aspects of your life valuable. Use your life to do what makes you happy and fulfill your goals. It is important to have direction and not to waste time on people, places or things that did not enhance your being.  To put it bluntly, you need to get a life and then be present in it. 

"Be Glad" was another phrase my mother used that radiated throughout my childhood.  It was a phrase from the movie “Pollyanna”, another eye-roller.  Let's be honest, life can be hard and demanding and it takes every bit of patience that I never knew I had. Becoming a wife and a mother were two of the biggest achievements in my life.  Two points in time when I look back with love and joy and satisfaction.  It is in these moments that "I Am Glad".  I am forever thankful that I married a great man and together we are blessed with three wonderful kids.  However, that being said, while being a mother and raising children is supposed to be fun and exciting it is also many other things too.  What no one ever tells you is that it is also stressful and messy and HARD! Making decisions for someone and hoping that they are the right decisions is crazy! Then not knowing how your decisions will impact them for days and weeks and months to come can drive you nuts!   While these are all fact of parenthood I also must admit that I have never felt more needed, more loved and more important than when I became a mother.  I have three children and having these children has made me realize that I just don’t have time…time for people who don’t make the picture of my life more beautiful, time to waste doing the same needless chores over and over again in a day just so that my house can appear perfect, or time to spend on stupid things that take away from my time to read and play and color and listen to my kids. Life is too short for stupid. 

My greatest goal these days is to simply be present. I am constantly amazed at how easy it is to spend time worrying about the school bus, weather, money and the chicken pox.  I am even more amazed at how much more of a challenge it is to leave the dishes in the sink or the laundry in the laundry baskets while I sit and watch a movie with my children instead.  I just want to be present.  I want to enjoy the time that I have with my husband and my kids now.  I love seeing my daughter with her missing front tooth or listening to my youngest read to his older brother at bedtime.  It amazes me to see my oldest son proudly do his homework at the dining room table and then pack his backpack after he is done.  These are the little things.  On their own they may seem like the mundane ins and outs of life.  But together they add up to this flash of time that I have right now.  In another month or two the gap in my daughter's smile will close and she will look that much older.  My youngest son will start reading quietly to himself at night and my oldest son will start complaining about his homework as he would rather be playing on the Wii.  This time will pass and I don't want to miss it.

'Life is too short for stupid" and "Be "Glad".  These are words to live by. 

A Circus Life

A Circus Life

A few weeks ago I went to the circus.  I had not been to one in years, however attended them every other year as a child.  My mother was obsessed with them, Ringling Brothers to be specific.  She loved Gunter Gebel-Williams with his wild blonde hair and tight leather outfits.  He was amazing really.  The tigers he had tamed could jump through flaming hoops, allow him to ride on their backs and even let him put his head in their mouths.  We actually had posters of him hung in our garage that would rotate with each new year when he would come to Madison Square Garden.  It was a big event in our household and a spectacle to behold.

While my mother was bananas about the circus, I was more skeptical.  Don’t get me wrong…I enjoyed the sparkling costumes, the daring acrobats and of course, the popcorn. However, I do remember sitting in my seat with the loud music blaring and watching each of the three rings thinking “Jesus, there is just so much crap going on here at once!”   I mean really? A lion tamer in the middle ring, a woman hula-hooping with 100 hula-hoops in the ring on the right and two brothers driving motorcycles around in a cage ready to plummet to their deaths in the ring on the left.  How the hell did someone come up with this variety of random things? And then think it was a good idea to stick them together?  This wondering remains a mystery to me to this day.

So here I am, no longer a kid with my parents but a woman about to turn 37 sitting at the circus with my husband, three children and my in-laws.  We are not overwhelmed at Madison Square Garden watching Ringling Brothers but at a much more manageable local circus that comes to town every February.  We are in our seats, the lights go down, the music blares and out they come…the tiger tamer, the hula-hooper and the motorcycle brothers.  My kids are mesmerized…sitting there with their popcorn, their light-up sabers and their mouths hanging open in awe.  To my own surprise, I am clapping, smiling and cheering as each act comes out one after the next.  It is in this moment that I realize why my mother liked the circus so much, obviously aside from watching Gunter strut around in his tight leather pants.  The circus is just as much of a shit show as raising kids, having a family and trying to maintain a household.  It is actually an even bigger shit show! While moms are at home changing diapers, mopping floors and packing lunches, the roustabouts are under the Big Top maneuvering tiger cages, shoveling up elephant shit and organizing countless polyester costumes for a variety of acts.  Which would you choose?! It was in that moment that I also felt that while my life was filled with doctors appointments, PPT meetings, laundry and kids arguing over who gets the next turn on the Wii, I did not have thousands of people watching me wondering whether I was going to fall off the tight rope or go flying off of my motorcycle seat as I swung around in circles. Now granted, my applause for a job well done is not as loud but my piles of shit are not as big either.

Needless to say I enjoyed my circus experience.  I stood and cheered at the end as each act paraded out in their flamboyant costumes.  My kids, still awestruck, finished their popcorn and are still playing with their light-up sabers.  They all want to go back next year.  I think we will.  I even think I will get a poster to hang in my garage so I can not only smile at the tight leather pants but so that I can also be reminded that life is a circus…filled with daring feats, close calls and the occasional pile of shit.